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yesterday i thought i literally was going to die…….i swear once i get my license i am never driving in any vehicle with my brother or sister again. I mean, i love them to death, but they practically scare me shitless when they drive. Bad case of road rage
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Maggiano’s is like one the most expensive restaurants i have ever eatin at! yet the service and the food, oh my goodness it was incredible.
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It’s been over a year since me and him last talked to each other…. Beyond’s 17th birthday was five days ago. I dont even think he got on when it was the 14th.
I wish he lived a lot closer….i mean, yeah me and him are pen-pals and he lives in the Uk, but every time we talk we talked or sent letters to each other, he’s grown on me. I really do hope he’s okay. Besides, i made a promise to him over a year ago that i would come to the UK to see him one day, when or if i could. I still intend to hold to it. I just hope, and i mean really hope, that when i actually do go over there, that nothing bad would have become of him.
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My sister is having her baby shower today! So glad that am able to attend, never thought i would be able to attend, what with my parents working on the weekends. She’s having her first baby girl, and this is the first time we have had a niece! Twp nieces in fact, as both of my sisters are pregnant, and due within a month of each other.
Finally finished with my first writing pad, though of course half the pag4es were ripped out too. Never really wrote as much as i should have, only ever used it for when the inspiration hits. Ohh well, at least i can start anew.
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Lately i haven’t really posted much of anything on here….things have been kind of rough for me. I recently moved into my new home, which is literally the house of my dreams. Had a bit of a rough patch with friends, and relationships. Lately i’ve been uninspired, unable to really write anything. I finally started writing again, finally im out of that writers block. Im trying to make it a habit to think less while i write, just let my mind take me wherever it goes. I guess what am trying to say is, im trying to let my writing flow, let my mind be free of thought and just write what i see, what i hear in my head, how i feel. Than again i have been doing just that ever since i started writing poems, but i have the bad habit of overthinking everything, which in turn seems to cause some of these writing blocks. There are times when i seem unable to write anything at all, as my thoughts get so jumbled up that i cannot possibly think.
Right now, am more or less in a somber sort of mood. Am finally on speaking terms with my ex….kinda wish i didn’t have to call him that. it surprised even me, that after not talking for a while, i still have feelings for him. Usually they say that if your feelings for someone last longer than four months, then you must love the person, in some way. The problem of the matter is, while i wish things could have worked out, while i wish i could still get back together with him, i dont want to as well. I can’t do this long distance thing anymore….it hurts.
There are also four more days left of school….finally summer vacation is here, looming over us. It’s such a relief to be out of that school for a couple months. The only thing that scares me though is that, after summer is over, i am officially going to be a senior. My last year….one more year of high school. One more year left until i’m let out into the real world. It’s a scary yet exciting thought. Who knows what could happen? ON the flip side, i can finally take the next step into achieving my dream goal…to have my own men’s choir and publish my poems and music. hell, i could even travel across the atlantic one day. These are only some of the thoughts i entertain myself with.
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There is something in my heart, something it screams for, something it longs for. I know not what exactly it is, what for. I find it disturbing that i dont seem to know myself as well as i should, whereas my family and closest friends know me more than i realize. Sometimes, if not if not all the time, i hide behind my music, my happy escape. A bit of a contradiction, as i’m the foolish poet who, while seemingly unable to openly express my feelings, i am able to convey them through a simple verse or two, even listen to the song that describes my emotions; this, always, is true. And so i depart into myself, searching for some way i can convey all these feelings towards you. And while i cannot find the right words to say, i know for a fact, somehow i will come out and tell you, someday.
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Why does it surprise me that the majority of fan-fiction on wattpad is about One Direction? Than again, they’re cute, they have dead sexy accents, and they can sing xD
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Whether we be close or far apart, you’ll always and forever be in my heart. I love you
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Trail of Memories
I have finally started writing out my story! Finally i found a place to start off, and so far the first chapter is looking good. I’ll posting it on here shortly, after i cpublish the second chapter. Feedback would be much appreciated! ^^
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I freakin hate abortion with a passion….after seeing that cutout pic…..now i cant even eat right now. Imjust on the verge of tears
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Fate
Fate
It’s quite tricky, how it works, how it is
Maybe, just maybe, we were meant to meet
On that day
Maybe this is a sign, a chance at redemption
To be saved
I can’t do this alone, i need help, i call to you
I try to pray
God save me, I’ve been wrong, show me the right path
I’ve gone the wrong way
This is my prayer, my cry for help, Lord
Please…come into my heart, and stay
In Jesus name i pray
Amen -
I been feelin really happy lately, and idk why. I mean I feel better than I have been feelin these past few months
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Kinda been a while since i really posted anything ofmy own…..well i’ve been having a bit of a poets block lately, haven;t really written anything new or good in the last month or so. Kinda frustrating case i dont really have much patience for just waiting for my inspiration even though i know it’ll come when it decides to.
I met this guy, he’s from the Oak Cliff Life School campus, earlier today when we were doing this school sponsored event, Called Master Leadership Class. Well we got to talking, and something just clicked. I never usually feel this way towards a person till i get to know them better, but for some reason i feel like i can already trust him. I find it kinda strange, considering my trust issues with people…but it’s like the feeling that you can tell someone anything, you know? And they wont judge you…. I dont mean this in like a homosexual sort of way either, why i feel the need to say that i dont really know.
Hopefully we can be good friends….
